


Without Her

by aseriesofolafevents



Series: Bowtruckles and Broken People [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 05:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16695910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aseriesofolafevents/pseuds/aseriesofolafevents
Summary: In which Theseus has questions, Tina finds something and rainwater hits cool glass panels.ORIn which Theseus deals with Leta's death and he is faced with a very important question.Who did she love?COG spoilers!





	Without Her

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is going to be part of a new series where I look at how individual characters deal with the aftermath of what happened in Paris. This is a pretty sad fic that I couldn't even edit without feeling blue so...I didn't!
> 
> If you want something more happier and uplifting go and read some of my series called, "The Chronicles of Newt and Friends."
> 
> Only 729 days until FB3!! Two years today!!!

When they’d met, he knew he’d always remember her eyes.

That’s it. He’d known that even if whatever this fizzle was between them didn’t work out, he’d always remember the way her eyes had caught the sun on that fateful walk along the beach.  
He’d known that even if they were to decide that this really wasn’t for them, as most twenty- something eligible youth do these days, that he would always remember that her eyes never changed colour, always stayed the same passive brown. He’d known that even if he had met someone new and loved her with all his heart, he would never see eyes as exquisite and yet as sad as hers.

Sometimes, you just know.

He hadn’t cried. He was an auror and it didn’t seem the right thing to do, not when there were more innocent lives to be lost. And at first, he didn’t wonder, the pain was too excruciating, numbing any other feeling or question that entered his head, until there was only one word left, one word that wasn’t small enough to be able to push out and yet not big enough to fill the undeniable hole left inside of him.  
Leta.

Newt had been good. No, Newt had always been a good brother, it was he who had been the one in the wrong. Now, Newt was brilliantly helpful, allowing him to do what he was best at, to lead. It had been he who had suggested they return to England, see Dumbledore and begin to formulate an attack. He knew now, what Newt meant. It was not the ministry and everyone else, just like it was not good and evil. It was more complicated than that. And so, in that way, he’d been able to find something to take her mind off her and her god damn beautiful eyes.

And then, though the pain remained, his thoughts became unclouded and he could think again. The small band of misshapen people they had seemingly become, began to work together, to listen to one another and to learn. And as his thoughts had become unfogged, an underlying niggle was brought to the surface.

Who had she loved?

It had been the last words she said; ‘I love you.’ It had been difficult to see amongst the smoke and blue flames, licking at their ankles, but he could hear her alright. She had said it, in a direction that he couldn’t decide on. Had it been to him? Or...something plagued him…

Had it been the man he fought beside?

His brother.

His question grew, by the day, consuming him and confusing him into a point of madness. He loved her, oh god he loved her and to think that she had loved someone else hurt him in areas of his heart he didn’t even know existed. But he was a military man and therefore able to suppress any other thought then the thought at hand.

The ones left behind, as he had dubbed themselves, stayed at Newt’s place. He did as well because lord knows he couldn’t go back and face the small apartment he had shared with her. Plus it made sense to stay together so that if Dumbledore needed to reach them, he knew where to do it. They planned together over the next month, working out the best route of action to take. If there was one.

He had been surprised when the French man stayed with them, Kama. It had irritated him at first, here was the man that only a couple of years ago, sought to kill Leta. Yet, Kama was clever and knew Europe through and through. It didn’t seem to enter their heads that he wished to find Credence for different reasons then the rest of them, yet if it did, they ignored it. They both had the same enemy.

It had taken the girl, Nagini, a week before she spoke to anyone. She rejected anyone’s efforts of kindness, save Jacob’s cooking and it was only a day before they left Paris that she began to talk, to get involved with the group, to suggest ideas. It was then that he seemed to remember that she really was only a frightened girl, who had lost the only person she cared about.

Jacob, the baker, was a strange person. In every way he seemed to fit in with this world and Theseus could almost understand why Newt had prolonged obliviating him. Despite his sadness, he seemed to focus on making sure everyone else was cared for, eating and sleeping, especially Tina, the woman. “She wouldn’t of wanted you starving yourself, Tina.” He would tell the dark haired woman, who would scowl, yet take a large mouthful of shepherds pie all the same.

She was an auror too, he learned. At first, he had liked her for who she was to Newt, someone special, but soon he had grown to like her for her own self. She was quick witted, smart and practical, even if her american accent was tedious. He could imagine she would be one of his favourites in the office, the one he wanted to fight alongside. Even if the looks she and Newt seemed to share were sweet enough to give him toothache.

Newt was coping surprisingly well. Theseus supposed it was Tina’s presence that seemed to give him courage, another thing he liked about her. And yet he almost couldn’t bring himself to look at his brother, without remembering the niggling question in the back of his mind.

Who had Leta spoken to?

It had been a month before Newt suggested that they should begin to start clearing out the apartment. He had said it in a small voice, avoiding eye contact, which wasn’t unusual, yet spoken with the utmost care, as if treading over hot sand. Tina had been sat with them, drinking a coffee and had nodded, agreeing.

“I…” Theseus began, imagining the cream walls over the apartment and the way she had insisted that all photographs had to be level with each other. He thought of the way she used to snap at him when he left his wet towels on the floor and the way she had grinned when he bought her breakfast in bed when she had a cold. The memories almost made him choke with tears. “I can’t do that.” He said quickly.   
He didn’t miss the way Newt and Tina shared a quick glance.  
“We...Tina and I could do it.” Newt had offered quietly and Theseus had nodded and said that yes, that would be extremely helpful because he had a lot to do today.  
That was a lie.

When they had returned, a couple of hours later, as the sun hovered just above the ground, glowing a beautiful amber colour. They had brought with them a couple of bags of clothes, which Theseus suspected to be his and a smaller black bag, which he had to guess to be Leta’s belongings.

Jacob and Nagini had looked up from the kitchen area, where he seemed to be teaching her how to make some kind of pastry, surprised looks on their face. Even Kama had laid the notebook he was scrawling in, on his lap. They all seemed anxious to see how Theseus would react.

Nodding his head curtly at Tina and Newt in something that resembled a thank you, he turned on his heel, desperate to escape to the room him and Newt were currently sharing, to escape their worried looks. A voice called him back.  
“Theseus.” It was Tina’s soft voice which compelled him to stop. She repeated it and he faced them, ignoring the shake of his hands.  
“Yes?” He asked, determined to keep his voice flat and cool. Tina reached into her pocket and pulled something small out.  
“We found this, hidden with a bunch of Leta’s stuff,” She told him, nervously. “We didn’t know whether it was important or…” She trailed off, glancing around the room awkwardly. He stepped forward and she extended her palm so that he could see a small smooth pink stone, lying on the middle of her hand. He inhaled sharply. His fingers trembled as he plucked it off her pale skin.  
“Oh.” Was all he could manage, not moving his eyes from the small pink stone that he twiddled round in his fingers. 

To many, the stone would look like an insignificant gem, probably part of a broken earring that had somehow made it into Leta’s box of trinkets. But to him, the stone represented something much bigger. He had found it on their first date, during a long walk along the beach. She had been wearing a flowing pink sundress and a large elegant hat, shading her from the sun. She had looked so beautiful. He had found it, whilst they were rock pooling, quite unconventional for a first date he had to admit and he couldn’t remember why they had ended up on a beach. But he could remember that he had given it to her as the sun sunk into the sea, telling her that it had matched her dress and complimented her eyes.  
“I’ll keep it forever,” She laughed, turning the stone over in her hand. She had had a small chuckle to her voice, probably believing him to be the player he was rumoured to be. He had presumed she was joking. He never asked about it again, not on their second date, or their twentieth. But she had kept it. That meant more than he would ever describe.

“It was me.” Was all he said aloud. She had loved him. She had spoken to him. She had loved him.

And for the first time since she had died, he sunk into the chair and cried.

The others stood there, perhaps confused by his reaction or maybe feeling slightly awkward. They stood until he had sobbed all there was to sob and he was grateful that they didn't crowd him, nor suffocate him with sympathy. Then Nagini came and sat beside him, touching his arm very gently.

“I didn't know her.” She said in a low voice. She waited, paused for a reaction. When she did not receive one, she continued. “Will you tell me about her?”  
He sniffed and a couple of moments went by.   
“She didn’t smile a lot.” He said in a quiet murmur. “She had these beautiful eyes that were filled with a sadness that were only drained when she laughed. I tell you, I must be one of the only people who saw her laugh..I mean...properly laugh. When she laughed it sounded like…”  
He stopped, unable to find the words. Luckily, he didn’t need to.  
“Like rain water hitting a cool panel of glass.” Newt said and Theseus glanced up and he laughed. A deep hearty laugh that shocked him more than those around him.  
“Yes!” He chuckled. “Exactly that.”  
His laughter ceased yet he remained smiling at his brother. “Thank you.” He said to Newt and they both meant that it was a thank you for much more than rainwater and glass panels. It was a thank you for everything.  
‘We’ll get him.” Jacob said and his voice surprised Theseus, who didn’t realise the baker was so close. “And we’ll get them back, Queenie and Credence and we’ll lock him up and make him pay for his crimes.”  
“The name Leta Lestrange, will mean ‘bravery’ in every language.” Kama joined in, smiling tightly.  
Tina said nothing but nodded, smiling a tear filled smile.

And above them, rainwater hit the cool long glass panels of the windows and Theseus liked to think it was Leta, laughing her beautiful chuckle and smiling with her beautiful eyes in a place where all there was was laughter and smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and leave kudos!! Xoxox


End file.
